I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
