I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
