Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
