so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
