she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
