Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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