you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
