Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
