last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize