is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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