We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
