i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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