Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
