I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
