i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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