I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
