I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
