he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
