my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
