How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
