Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
