I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
