so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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