Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
