I'm drive I can fine osifer
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
