yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
