They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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