I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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