Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
