One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
