I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
