We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
