so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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