He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
