I'm going to jail i love you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
