Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
