I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
