If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
