you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
