Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
