He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
