I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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