last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize