I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
