So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
