NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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