giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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