Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
