Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
