Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
