Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
