Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
