I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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