and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
