we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
