So drunk its hurt
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
